A First Day Less Ordinary

I have been thinking about looking into the possibility of starting a blog, and my words are chosen carefully. Until sometime yesterday I had not really even looked into what is actually involved in blogging. In fact, I have only read about three blogs in my whole life, including one my very favorite of persons started yesterday, who has, by so doing, inspired me to just start one. Nike would be an apt name for he at this time, but she has already selected her own Greek deity, fully convinced that she is a deity herself. Well, whatever your damn name is, thank you.

I am rather rushed at the moment, and so the quality of this blog may not be up to the professional standard I might like, but as a very first blog, fired off into the sea electronic information, and with so much other educational, informative, entertaining and pornographic material freely available already, well, hopefully a few people notice my typos.

So as a token offering, a quick bit of writing I rushed out one day.
It was inspired by an over zealous moment of my roommate. I may have been too hasty in judging his commitment, only time will tell. But whether it is he, or any number of other sex deprived, and testosterone addled, young men, I think it holds a certain truth that many may recognize.

Without further delay (baring this quick intro) I give you...

My Penis Is In Love

My friend let slip rather casually at breakfast that he is "absolutely in Love" with a girl he was bringing over that evening. This was the extent of his explanation and the very first words I had ever heard about the existence of this girl. Not one to usually omit any story about a girl who paid him any attention the sudden visit stood out as a bit strange. But apparently he had met her before and knew her well enough to invite her round for the first time, one can only assume after such a statement.

My friend has a rather fired up personality when it comes to women. He gets rather excited in their presence at times. He has, I think it will be understood, a large libido, and perhaps not enough self control to reign it in. So rather than directing his enormous libido with self assured charm, distributing enormous quantities of pleasure to one or multiple women, his libido has tendency to run ahead of him, like a puppy pulling on a leash, yanking him along, and inevitably tangling him up, awkwardly.

The only other detail he offered was: "she's Asian."

He has a thing for Asians it was whispered. Not much else was said about the potential of her having a personality beyond this: she comes from somewhere in an area that accounts for about one third of the earth's landmass. Perhaps I exaggerate... from somewhere in an area that accounts for about a quarter of the earth's landmass, which narrows it down considerably.

With such a personality, and such a vague description of the love of one's life , the grandiose statement, to me, seems misplaced. I don’t want to say he is making no objective judgment that her personality is generally pleasant and likable, but I do believe it would be more understandable if we were to translate the statement, “I am in Love with her,” with “My Penis is in Love with her.”

Despite the accuracy of this statement, it is nevertheless a troubling statement, as it could be a rather awkward and risky, and not, perhaps, something someone should think aloud. It provides a terrible insight into the nature of the sex depraved man. He is no longer a complete character. His body, mind and mouth, no longer represent his personality. They have become mere extensions of his penis. His mouth will speak the words of the penis, and the mind will machinate to achieve the goals of the penis, and his whole body will have been reduced to a mode of transportation to move his where it desires.

To fall for the personality of man in this state, is in fact to fall for a complete prick.




Well I ended up rewriting that story a bit as I went through it. It could probably go on but I'm short of time.

Here's one little tid bit (it is tid bit isn't it? the spelling tool tells me that it is a mistake, but I have shied away, with a tiny snigger and smirk, from the possibility that it should actually be "tit bit.") This is an apartment add that a friend of mine came across on craig's list some time ago. The add itself is quite astounding... but this was also the first time I read a craig's list apartment ad, and found their living options remarkably bizarre in their own right, and so I have included them to give the overall effect. Ironic that it includes "it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services."

Free or cheap rent for open-minded girl

Please contact me for more details if you might be interested.

• cats are OK - purrr
• dogs are OK - wooof
• Location: Ottawa
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

go listen to "Chocolate Jesus" by Tom Waits.

Best, wishes.
Mattew James Cook. The two and only.